Someone stole Lola's seahorse - a favorite piece from one of those "handmade" (in China ) Melissa and Doug puzzles. Since then, we've received postcards with pictures of seahorse in Denver, the Grand Canyon and California (surfing at an undisclosed location).2) Pretzels – Munchable & Crunchy - Do They Float?
Now there will always be those determined few dedicated to the intellectual. These folks are easily identified by their indiscriminate use of sarcasm. Although this is likely the sincerest form of social interaction, be aware that only the obscenely wealthy or attractive can pull this off. Anyone else will eventually find themselves in the “asshole” category. And despite first appearance, there are no substantive differences between self-deprecation and sarcasm. Again, only the rich and beautiful can make fun of themselves and get away with it. The only difference for the self-deprecating remainder is the insertion of “poor” before “asshole”. The most dreadful of all, however, is the niche character. The chic who loves iPod, the guy really into Widespread Panic, or that dude who just can’t get over his semester abroad to Rome. These people are doomed. Anything even resembling the borders of “collecting” is a social death sentence – and great fodder for the “funny guy”. If you have a hobby – lose it…unless it’s sports or, of course, you’re really rich or attractive. Again, in the latter cases, do whatever the hell you want – it’ll be alright.
Yes, we were very excited that Whole Foods came to town (enough to show up on the opening day). And yes, it is an incredible store...but it will always be a "big box". Try not to forget where you can find the authenticity they are trying to replicate - V Richards.
For those of you who haven't already heard...yes, Lola completed the Mercedes Marathon this year. She's a little disappointed with her time - unfortunately, she did not qualify for Boston. But we still love her no matter what.
I’ve tried to get into “sports”. That’s true life support. Some of these things run over four hours. No matter what happens, I can always go back to “the game”. “What’s the score?” I can ask. “Can you believe that crap?” I can protest. “I hate that guy”. I can proclaim. Actually, the possibilities are endless. Maybe I want someone to look my way – a slightly overemphasized “hell yeah” will do the trick. “No, I’m not a drunk. I’m just a fan, and I’m supporting my boys. Yes, I am very passionate about ‘this team’”. Even better, there are no dead ends. “What? You don’t like my team?” Fine, how about a little playful flirtation about how my boys are better than yours. “Oh, you like these guys too?” Great, let’s talk about the games you’ve recently seen, and the other teams we can together despise. 
I recently experienced an in-home energy efficiency clinic courtesy of Stephen Guesman (that's "Gooze"-man) of Green Works. The verdit? My house "sucks". The good news...in two hours Stephen was able to identify more easy fixes than I could ever hope to tackle.
Okay, this doesn't have anything to do with Birmingham...unless, people here listen to music. Oh, they do? Well, then they really should buy Mark Sandman "Sandbox" today.
In a pinch, I’ll have to smoke a cigarette. I can make it cover as much as five minutes, but that isn’t much of a reprieve from looking like I have nothing better to do. After that, I can space each cigarette by about ten minutes without looking like a desperate chain smoker – or getting nausea from the persistent fumes. Overall, we’re looking at thirty minutes per hour of potentially dead air. These thirty minutes are crucial. It’s in these precious moments that personalities are defined. “He’s a funny guy” – now that’s pure gold. You’re going to need at least ten minutes of solid material for that distinction. You can coast the remaining twenty though well-placed repetition and over-laughing at whatever anyone else has to say. Assuming you can’t carry the ten minutes, there are a few shortcuts to “funny guy”. For example, be very attractive. Attractive people get to be whatever they want. If you’re hot and someone less hot hears you laugh, they have to characterize you as funny. Otherwise, it’s an acknowledgement of hanging around merely for your superior attractiveness. Alternatively, you can be very large (physically). If you’re a big, talcum-powdered fat ass you’ve got a great comedy crutch. The only folks that can trump you will be really good at saying things in “foreign” accents. Unfortunately, a big, blistering fat ass is no kryptonite for attractiveness (i.e., they’ll think you’re funny, but you’re still walking home alone). Of course, there can only be so many "funny guys"...
This past fall, our beagle "Cooper" found a baby in a pile of leaves. She was pretty cute so we decided to keep her.
